What if

“You could have loved me better if I had loved myself more” – he whispered.

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Stuck in the moment

Written along blurred lines

Our story may have been.

Back and forth, my love

You cannot change what is deemed.

Heartless

You seem to be cold with me

Yet I know I was the one to blame.

I once was warm and happy

Now I’m heartless and in pain.

Free Time

It’s been a while since I’ve updated anything here in the blog. I’ve been having a hard time balancing my time for my day job, school and the blog. I’ve been wanting to write about so many things, so many places and food and so much more. I’ll make it up to you guys 🙂

I hope you have no problem with balancing your time too, set your priorities and plan ahead. A good way to achieve something is to have a plan.

Will be posting soon! Thank you & I love you ❤️

Ps, here’s what the beach after sunset looked like:

Love, Tim 🍉

My June Experience.

All good things must come to an end and every ending is a new beginning.

A new chapter has been added to my life. At first, I was hesitant, unsure and perhaps was scared. I was never really a people person because I was trapped in my own safe haven which I created for my self preservation.

Opening up to others, making the extra mile to have a conversation or even just taking the effort to ask for a selfie is not really my forté. I’d like to stay in the sideline, and just observe and just wait for my eco-system to be altered, for the better, I guess.

All of this changed, not entirely but gradually. I’ve learned that YOU have to be that person, that YOU have to make that effort to reach out and begin what’s needed to begin. Learn to adjust with everyone but not to the extent that you will let your guard down and just let them see right through you cause remember that preserving your mystery is the key and a superpower like invisibility.

Cliché as it seems, change really is the only thing that is constant in this world and I like that. I don’t define myself as an introvert nor an extrovert cause maybe I’m a mix of both. Making new friends — never that easy. It’s like giving away a piece of you that they can trail and in return you will receive a part of them too. We all are really kids at heart, we can make friends as easy as that even if people have different sets of attitude, you may or may not like it but you just have to live with it because that’s how it goes.

With this, I have come to realize and was able to piece together what making friends mean. It is making the most of the similarities that we had, understanding the differences (especially the “Ilonggo” language — which I think is really cool and really soothing to the ears) and creating a bond out of this formula that would eventually be unbreakable. Hopefully.

P.s.

Will forever treasure the two boat rides, six cabs, eight jeepneys, countless trips to the elevator and the spiral stairs, not to mention the mind twisting traffic and the sleepless nights I had to go through because of exams, foodtrips and random coffee nights. The few places that made me feel touristy. Also keeping in mind the free food served every after an hour and a half or two, the crazy boomerang videos and the ENDLESS selfie ops. Not to forget the accomodation that made us feel like we were Rajahs and Ranis on vacation. It has been a pleasure training with you!

Alvin Timothy Tan
TTP Batch 4
2017

 

Be Tough, Young Blood.

The sensitivity of the situation requires it to be handled in a professional manner. Life as we know it is not easy, perhaps it will never be. You’ll go through a lot, pain, suffering, victory and defeat. They’re all part of the plan. You’ll encounter and meet different kinds of people from all walks of life. Many, will criticize you, some won’t trust you and if you’re lucky enough there would be few to back you up in the struggle. Life plans don’t always go to plan but you’ll have to get over and on with it. Experiences aren’t enough for you young blood. You’ll have to bank on your guts, your intellect and your capabilities and in trust everything to the Divine Overseer. You have to be tough young blood. You have to be strong. This situation requires a professional undertaking and you young blood can do it. Trust yourself. 💐

Diary. #Feb

Have you ever wondered what it is like to really say what you really want to say, out loud and with vigorous conviction? I bet it is satisfying and mind blowing at the same time. But we are not bound to do just that mainly because we observe boundaries, we create walls that define your lawn against others and crossing might mean a breach of a next to a non existing but executory contract.

It has come to a point that my mind has been bombarded with unfathomable what ifs and ought-to-bes. Always and most of the time I always pray that I may not commit any kind of mistake but what can you do? I am not perfect and so are you. But the saddest part is, and perhaps the worst is that all of these melacholy are all in my mind. And that they aren’t ready to be enunciated.

Please. Let me be human too.