Self Reminder 2.0

Mahigit dalawang taon na akong walang lovelife (yung serious na lovelife ha), I really don’t know why I’d always end up in a failed relationship. Oh, alam ko pala — me. So here I am desperate to find love kaya madali lang talaga akong kiligin kahit nagbabasa lang ng novels, facebook posts at even confessions and at some point I feel that romantic love might not just come today or later maybe never. Hindi ko talaga maiwasang mag-imagine, sana nangyari sakin yun, sana ganun ginawa ko, puro nalang sana, sana, lahat ng sana natutupad. Pero mukhang malabong mangyari yun kasi wala naman pong nagkakagusto sa akin at kung meron man, I always turn them down (medyo oa at harsh), or even rid of the thought na magiging kami. Kasi naging reserved na po kasi ako simula ng masaktan ako ng sobra-sobra, yung tipong ayaw mo nang bumangon sa bed mo kasi ang bigat-bigat ng damdamin mo, yung tipo ng sakit na nakakarinig ka lang ng love songs, iiyak-iyak kana, parang ang oa ko nung panahon na yun. Kaya ng nakapagmove-on ako (Hallelujah!) hindi na talaga ako nagpapadala sa mga crush-crush na yan, kahit aminin pa nila na may gusto sila sa akin, hinding hindi ko talaga kayang masuklian ang kanilang paghanga, sorry bes, hanggang friends lang talaga tayo.

PERO BES? MALI NAMAN YUN EH.

Kasi naranasan mo na dumaan sa posisyon nila, naranasan mong sabihin sa taong mahal mo ang tunay mong nararamdaman kahit alam mong sa huli, wala, bokya.

PERO MALI NAMAN BES, ANG IPILIT MO ANG SARILI MO, SA AYAW MO.

Kasi most of the time, may gusto ka sa kanya, siya naman may gustong iba, at may iba dyan na ikaw ag gusto pero ayaw mo, choosy ka bes, choosy ka — kasi magiging unfair ka naman sa kanya. Sabihin na natin na naging masaya siya kasi naging kayo pero bes, pag hindi mo talaga mahal, mararamdaman din niya yun. Magiging cold din siya pwera nalang kung magiging martyr siya, pero mali yun eh. I once read a quote that says “Love is when you consider someone else’s happiness over yours” but I think ito ang definition ng pagiging martyr kasi pag hindi kana masaya, hindi na yan relationship, isa na yang relationSHIT. Dapat, masaya ka, masaya siya, masaya tayong lahat.

SO HERE’S MY ADVICE TO MYSELF and to those na nakakarelate:

  • Maging open ka, i-consider mo ang feelings nila over yours but not to the point of becoming a martyr just to make other people happy. Remember, that life is short to be unhappy.
  • Don’t give them the impression that you like them too much to make them “partner material”. Minsan kasi bes, Ay! Most of the time pala. Dyan kasi nagsisimula ang lahat. Walang assuming kung walang nagbibigay motibo sa kanila na mag assume. Make your actions friendly but not to the point of being romantically friendly.
  • If ever this happens to you (again): Divert your attention to something else if hindi mo na talaga kaya. Nakakatulong kasi kapag may ginagawa ka kaysa mag mok-mok ka lang sa bed mo at makinig sa mga kanta ni Adele – ganda ng songs ni Adele, nakaka un-move-on kung baga. HAYSS
  • And lastly, mainlove ka sa tamang panahon at sa tamang tao. Lahat ng bagay may timing, hindi mo alam kung kalian pero kapag darating na yun, in that moment ma fe-feel mo na talaga, yung kakaibang feeling na hindi mo ma explain at mapapa “asdfghjkl” ka lang at ewan ko hindi ko pa na feel rin eh. Hehe.

You deserve someone that would reciprocate the love that you keep on giving.
Above all, they deserve to be happy as you deserve happiness.

Disclaimer: Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakain ko at nasulat ko to. #WalaPaAkongKain

Love, Tim

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