“Everything has its own timing.”
A phrase that throughout the years has been constantly and constantly been used but never been lived up to, but some would always take the extra mile and vie to feel slightly touched by life’s timing as others wait patiently and learn to finally embrace destiny’s beautiful orchestration.
So yeah. It all started on May 9. Election day. No work. I was bored and I had nothing to do. An idea struck me to try that omegle and talk with strangers. It’s a very accessible site bc you dont need to sign up, so i just went there and chatted with strangers. Curiousity, indeed, kills the cat. I am warning you to not do what I did bc it really is full of naughty people. So i was about to close the site when I was connected with a stranger. I decided to give it one last try and viola, he was not the same as the rest. We chatted for hours without being disconnected. I was about to end the convo because it’s past lunch and I was hungry when he asked for my number. I didn’t give mine bc even though part of me thinks that there might be a spark, I know that sane people people with pure intentions won’t go there. But he gave his, and asked me to text him when I needed someone to talk to. He promised not to ask for my name and anything personal, just a mere chat about anything. I decided to save his number bc though he happens to be schooling in Baguio, he is from La Union, and I was going to La Union for 3 weeks the day after. I was thinking that maybe, I could use his advices on where to eat or go or with some basic Ilokano terms. After three days, I texted him and there, everything has started. I freely gave him my first name after a few weeks bc he already gave me his at omegle and it’s kind of a creep thinking what he might have put into his contacts.
Once, he called only to play me guitar and ukulele but that was it. We only talk through text. I know it’s silly but for almost 4 months of telling him everything– my inner thoughts and dreams, all my struggles and rants and the likes without hesitations and the fear of judgment bc after all, he will always be a stranger to me, I know that I’ve been gradually attached. I feel like it’s not healthy for me anymore since I hardly even had a time for myself after work and I still make time for him so I cant get some other things done. So, few times I’ve tried to end it. End is the word since it seems like we had something, though there was never an us. But I still find myself replying to his texts. Until one time, we were texting when I asked him why would he risk his heart and waste his time to someone he doesn’t even know, but he slapped me back the question. Idk, maybe bc honestly I like him, without regard to where it all started what he might even look like. I like him because he still sees me as a normal person after I’ve laid out my flaws, after him knowing my darkest thoughts. He told me that if ‘this’ lasts after his graduation, if no one’s phone is going to get snatched, if nobody’s going to have a romantic relationship with someone, then he will call me on his graduatiom day and tell me everything about himself. But the gist is, I know that I am naive and all… so maybe I am asking your opinion on what to do. Will I just go with the flow? Or end it right at this moment since I am not even sure if he even exists or it’s all in my head. Bc honestly, I know that I am the one losing, bc I am already falling.
I’ve read the letter you sent me. I examined it thoroughly, and based on what I read – I conclude that yes, you like him and yes, you are falling for him. I’ll ask you these questions. Do you feel your heartbeat when you’re talking to him? Do you shiver every single time you decide to open his texts? Is he in your thoughts like every single day? If you answer yes to all these questions, then congratulations my friend! You are in love. Please don’t be scared to fall in love just because you do not know him well. Take the risk then. The what ifs you can think of, the clause you made sighting him as a stranger only, the wait-for-graduation thingy, please get rid of them. So it’s not your fault that a sane human being like you ended up at omegle whom I heard is infamous for its wild users and perverted conversations that could either describe you as a hopeless romantic venturing out into the unknown trying their luck or a bored woman on election day who had no plans of going out. What I’m really trying to say is to TAKE THE CHANCE. Know him better. Believe in the power of Destiny! Baka sya na ang lalaking itinakda ng mga butuin na makapareha mo, he might not have come in the manner you’ve always wanted or planned but the best things, the best moments in life are those that does not come with a script or a checklist. At kung hindi man siya ang itinakda, may karapatan kang masaktan, may karapatan kang magalit, maging bitter, mag hugot lines at ang pinaka importante sa lahat, may karapatan kang mag move on. Deserve mo ‘yun eh. Trial and error kasi ang love. Minsan akala mo tama, mali pala. May mga bagay na alam mong mali, binabaliwala mo lang kasi para sayo yun ang tama. Sa huli, ikaw pa rin ang mag de-decide kung tatanggapin mo ang pagkakataong makilala siya. Hindi na tuturuan ang puso, pero marunong itong magmahal. Napakaswerte mo kasi nakilala mo siya. Hindi man sure, at least consistent. I-grab mo nalang kung ano ang meron kayo. ‘Yun lang. Kota na ako sa love advices. Matalino ka, weird lang minsan pero hindi mahirap mahalin. Baka yan ang dahilan kaya nakilala mo sya. To remind yourself that you are worthy of love kahit nasaktan kana. God bless!
— Tim ❤